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Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
"Cool hash page"
December 2002

Hash 83 - Tawasentha Park
October 30, 2004
Guilderland, NY

When: October 30, 2004
Where: Tawasentha Park
Hares: McCavity
Scribe: McCavity, Hash Overachiever

Once again the Halve Mein Hash gathered for the annual combination of fancy dress, r*nning and bachanalia that comprise the Halloween run and THFKAD’s Halloween party. To begin the evening a number of hashers assembled in various parts of a deserted Tawasentha Park, forgetting that McCavity was the hare and had about as much chance of arriving on time as the Red Sox had of winning the World Series. Damn, I’m going to need a new cliche. Haven’t you guys who turn up on time got drinking to do or something?

The hare was soon to be seen dropping true trail arrows towards a parking lot, though, and a good crowd (including Tubslut on one of his occasional sojouns upstate) gathered to celebrate being dressed weirdly with err no BEER. No BEER!!!! The BEER, chalk and flour were missing in transit in the possession of Paris and Nicole who had to spend an extended period dressing and accessorizing. And hashing is a limited pleasure with no BEER, flour and food. The hash was actually lucky to have another prerequisite, a hare, as McCavity and Bodsa had to escape a city of Boston besieged by celebrating Red Sox fans.

When the blond bombshells finally arrived the pack was complete and featured:

The Devil, a convict, the invisible man, Jeff Gordon, Jeff Gordon’s pet cow, two runners (actually Nice Snatch AKA Bloody Snatch came as himself after his major hash crash of the previous week), Paris and Nicki, Elvis, Elvis’ pet witch, a fairy, a hippy, a monk, the Unabomber, whatever Astro Homo was depicting and the hare appearing as ... the harer.

Once again this trash is being penned by the hare so misbehavior on trail will need to be reported second hand. Either someone else needs to pen a missive or McCavity needs to allow someone else a chance to hare. Trail began with McCavity’s typical check back and soon wandered across parking lots before heading into the shiggier periphery of the park. A detour brought the pack onto a golf course, much to the consternation of a greens keeper who raced about on a cart and was doubtless amazed to see first a collection of costumes making an escape, then to encounter true magic on the green as a witch made parts of Elvis’ anatomy disappear. Tiger Woods would be glad to get his ball... err, it may be time to stop this analogy. Once safely back in the park, trail wandered through trees, more trees and of course .... trees, before heading to the concert stage for BEER.

The next section brought our rabble steeply down to the Normanskill River. With Astro Homo being kept well away from haring after his dead trail laying performance in the recent pickup hash the pack was not asked to wade, swim, canoe or fly across. Instead a short stretch along the bank brought the thirsty hashers to a small island more beautiful than heaven. Well... we have no evidence that heaven has BEER. And here there was only a tree trunk bridge to negotiate, heaven might be a bigger challenge for the average hasher. Most of the group walked over the tree (even Laurel and Hardly Running) and proceeded to deal with the BEER in the traditional manner, while Astro Homo first carried the cow over the river, then wallowed in the shallows. Do not mix this man with water!

Back on trail, most of the pack passed a couple of open graves (?!) before heading back into the park and negotiated a few contours before trail brought them back to the start. One couple, however, felt the need to negotiate each other’s contours and only emerged from the darkness after some delay. To spare the guilty their names will be witheld (what goes on in the Hash, stays in the Hash ...... unless the gossip is really good), but safe to say when they returned the were “All Shook Up” and claimed that only “Fools Rush In” to avoid being DAL. The pack had “Suspicious Minds” but the couple put it down to “Witchcraft”.

Somehow Chateau THFKAD and a keg of Sam Adam’s finest seemed preferable to a windswept Guilderland Park, so the party swiftly moved on for circle. No so swiftly that Touch Down Jesus couldn’t have a shower and change into a police outfit, or that Paris and Nicki couldn’t slip into something more comfortable for the evening. We were also joined by our hare as a grey Republican and an onlooker in Kim, Nice Snatch’s room-mate. For once we enjoyed quality down-down BEER and the usual list of miscreants and misfits were duly recognized:

Hare: McCavity
FRB: Dirtbag
DAL (and murky moments on trail): SB1 and SB2
Virgin: No name Phil, Poptop made him come
Dressing as r*nners: Dirtbag and Nice Snatch
Best costume: TDJ, by now in police outfit (r*nners up: Jeff Gordon, HAP, Paris and Nichole, SB2)
Backsliders: Bockman Turned Her Over, Steamy Crevice (who had just joined us as a spectator)
Analversaries: Dirtbag (80), THFKAD (70), Peace O’Chum (20), Bockman Turned Her Over (10)
Missing out on his 69: THFKAD
Hashit: TDJ for overachieving by showering and changing costume
Visitors: Tubslut
Voyeurism, by watching circle: No name Kim

As per usual songs were sung, Kim received the Allouette treatment and the circle descended into near anarchy before the hash were invited to go in peace ... and PARTY!

Thanks to THFKAD for the party, on-on to run 84, the “Find a Corpse” run brought to you by Peace O’Chum and Nice Snatch.


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