As usual the weather gods were kind enough to rain all day and turned off the spigot for our event and provide us with a shiggylicious trail to follow. The hare was more than happy to run the trail through every swamp and piece of shiggy he could find between Shaker Run and Vly Rd.

But I should digress and go back to the start. The hash started out as usual with people showing up between 6:00 and 7:30, with a start of 6:30 HST, so it was the usual cluster f#ck. Once everybody arrived and was in costume, the hare was away, we circled for chalk talk for our 2 virgins.

Of course it was the usual deer in the headlights with blank stares and drool coming off of their chins, man I really know how to captivate an audience!! Hash aerobics followed the chalk talk with Father Birmingham being the song of choice. With that being finished pack was away.

Within 100' we ran into our first of many water crossings. After futzing about the apartment complex for about 20 minutes we completely lost trail. The first use of technology on trail had us crossing through the woods and our first swamp to get to the other side of the apartment complex. Of course we didn't see any of the promised trail markers mentioned on the phone.

With that the second use of technology on trail occurred bringing us out to Sand Creek Rd and across to a well marked trail. This brought us out to the beer check, which was next to a hunting shanty. Somehow we had lost Tubslut and wouldn't see him until much later. After the beer check the trail proceeded on dry ground for approximately 69 feet before we entered another swamp. The trail was very well marked through this part and brought us out to the power lines.

Again we lost track of trail and the third and final use of technology led us to the left where we discovered that hares shouldn't lay trail intoxicated and high, because it tends to cause weaving or maybe thinking that marking trail in a weaving pattern would be fun for the hounds to follow in the dark. NOT!!! The trail continued down the powerlines where we ran into Tubslut hanging out trying to get lucky. Ass Ranger was more than accommodating and we continued on trail into a small development and back out to Rt 155. Unfortunately Spank Banks agreement with a bar didn't come through and circle was convened back at his place.

The hare, Spank Bank, adds:

"Halloween hash was a blast. We had a pack of about 11 and a hot dog, dirt bag, pop a squat, just theresa, just tim, hypovaginemia, rainer queer, poptop, bobhead, ass ranger, aarpenis, and last but not least tub slut made it. The pack slogged through about two miles of swamp and stream starting ten feet from the beginning of trail, the first beer check was located just off sand creek across the street from the Shaker Run complex back in the deep dark spooky woods at a place that will be known as the hump shack. Anyhew, trail continued through the swamp to the power lines that run parallel to consaul road and cross at vly rd. The pack was running into a gusty forty mile per wind through mud following a wandering drunken trail most likely laid by a wandering drunken hare. The trail veered into a neighborhood and the pack got good and fucked with some false trails. after a few blocks the trail emerged at the heritage pub were the management suddenly decided to re neg on a deal that I had made previously so the ravenous hashers were ushered to the back parking lot of the establishment and thrown a cooler of warm beer while bobhead and I went back to let tubslut look for the keys he lost. OH yes, tub slut got lost on trail before the first beer check and abandoned by the pack. Bobhead and I picked him up, lifted his spirits with some diet coke and plopped back at a check point were he could join the pack. We circled back at the spank bank. Pop Top is now named Dairy Queen. Virgin tim was very shy about showing us his favorite sexual position, he got off the bus and I started drinking whisky down downs at this point and it all goes hazy. Promises were kept, the pack received the holy shitty trinity, shitty trail, shitty beer, and shitty food."

Circle was closed with Today is Monday and the hash went in peace, and hopefully the hash got a piece.

Unfortunately I forgot to serenade our virgin Theresa with Alouette, if she shows up again she won't get off so easily. (Ed: Girls do seem to have that problem with you, don't they?)

If you have anything to add, send a note to pf@hmhhh.com.