When: Feb 11, 2001

Hares: Dirtbag, GT375

Here ya go.

Balmy?  Hell, Yeah!  It was 8 degrees (Yes, that's right kids - farenheit
and below freezing) outside and long before noon, a phone rang in the
upstairs bedroom of a house in rural Glenville.

"You suck, Don." said the sleepy voice.

And so did the hash day begin.  Because of Hatter's typically sucky
directions, one cell phone call (from the parking lot at a local Dunkin
Donuts) found Hatter and Good Time 375 still marking trail and confirmed the
spot.  After encountering the world's stupidest person (employed by Dunkin
Donuts) and drinking a cup of the world's worst coffee (made by Dunkin
Donuts) we arrived at the On-On.

Pigvomit was showing off his brand new ride, a white Ford with a major sound
system.  Pigvomit spent a lot of time outside of his brand new car with
THFKAD, probably because F4, Captain Cumshot and Rookie Nookie locked
Pigvomit out of his very own brand new car.  (Hey, tell us again how you got
the down payment.)

The Hares were away (Dirtbag and Good Time 375, sans Dyke'n'Dog) leaving
the hounds to themselves.  This is generally not a good idea.  We were
spotted by the local police and feared a visit.  Luckily, the wise police
officer decided not to mess with the likes of us and moved on.  After a
rousing version of "Daddy Hasher," there was an attempt to scribe "For
Sale" on the windows of Dirtbag's van and park it in a nearby used car
lot.  Fortunately for Dirtbag, the chalk just doesn't work well on
windows.  (Hash note: Bring soap next time.)  Sugar Mama opted to remain
in the van during hash aerobics, but she did all the hand, arm and feet
movements (Sorry about the footprints on the windshield.)

The Hounds (McCavity, Finger Lickin' Good, Pigvomit, F4, Rookie Nookie,
Captain Cumshot, Sugar Momma, and THFKAD) were on the loose, soon
afterwards.  The sky was clear and blue, the temperature already soaring
to the days high of 23 degrees.  Did we forget to mention the wind chill?

We ran through the briars and we ran through the brambles, and we ran
through several police checkpoints and got many suspicious looks.  (Security
provisions for the film crews who were working in Troy that morning,  we
suspect.  Maybe they were tipped off about the Hash and were providing
ground support to the aerial teams.)

We ran across some bridges (2 of em) and enjoyed some very lovely views of
the Hudson River, both to the North and South.  We could see the old
Cohoes basin, which in the early 1920's was used as... Oh, wait.  This
isn't a travelogue. Nevermind.  We ran right through Troy's City Hall and
were rewarded with even more suspicious looks from even more police
we mention the abundance of police presence on this Hash?  This was the
hairiest part.)

We ran through the projects and we ran past some winos and we finally ran
into the waiting arms (and some of us ran right into the waiting cars) of
the hares.  We were then chauffeured to our vehicles, pleased to see that they
were unticketed and untowed, and caravanned to the down-down.

FRB - THFKAD
DAL - Pigvomit and Sugar Momma

The Hashit could have easily gone to THFKAD and Captain Cumshot for racing
at the finish line again.  They also might have gotten it for deciding not
to pause at the top of a freaking windy bridge for a hash halt (All of the
other wankers were lagging too far behind.)  Sugar Momma was also in the
running for the prize, as she conveniently forgot "The Crutch" in
Dirtbag's van before the run.  Pubic Chin got an honorable mention just
for being in California at the time. Pigvomit was also nominated to keep
the prize - and not for "just because," either.  We all watched as he and
Sugar Momma held hands and almost skipped to the finish line.  We also
learned that he "pinky swore" on a promise. Dude.... Oh, no... Dude, you
didn't.

But no!  Despite all of the contenders for the booty, it was not to be!
When we all learned that Flip Top Fag bowed out well in advance of the run
because "It was going to be too damn cold and windy", he was awarded the
Hashit in-absentia.  Ah, that coveted prize is his to wear proudly during
the next run.

Mismanagement:
A rule was modified.  If you get the Hashit, just add something to it the
first time you get it.

New Hash Scribes were voted in without much much of an election, and without
much of a fight.

It was noted that our very own (and sweetly named) Sugar Momma was no longer
a Sugar Momma.  Therefore, the renaming of Sugar Momma to Psychoholic Slut
was done quickly, decisively and unanimously.  We didn't leave any marks
(promise?).  If she is still alive in 6 months to enjoy her new moniker,
we'll all be amazed.

Good Time 375 wants to thank you all for using coasters and not spilling
anything on her carpet.  F4 would like to thank Finger Lickin' Good for
the 'nub'. (Editor's Note:  We don't know.  We don't wanna know.)

All in All, a great day for a run and a great trail.  Nice job, Hares!  Till
next time, Wankers! Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups!

On-On!

Your Hash Scribes (or, rather: scribe and the
psychotic-drunk-ass-scribette)

The Hasher Formerly Known As Don (THFKAD)
Psychoholic Slut