Hounds: McCavity, Just Denny, Donkey Style, Gay Underway, Just Jen, Dirtbag

Scribe 1: McCavity

You know something is wrong when McCavity arrives an hour before his co-scribe. And that co-scribe is not Sperm Bank. After a beautiful ride up through the Adirondacks and a surprisingly easy bit of route finding to a point that appeared as a dot in the middle of nowhere on the Hash erections page, your No.1 scribe arrived to find a small pack contemplating with glee the first ever hash without one of the Halve Mein stalwarts (a contraction of stale owd farts I believe) Dirtbag, THFKAD, and McCavity. While this situation would make the environs safer for pigs, sheep and hashettes, a pack also missing recent regular Nice Snatch might struggle to remember a song. And to piss in circle, crash a motorbike and other attributes Nice Snatch brings to our group.

Despite the late hour McCavity was allowed half an hour prelubing before Virgin Denny was given brief instructions and the pack headed off in search of a dead laid trail. Though we doubted anyone could be this late the hare spread copious flour to ensure latecomers would find trail. Prescient or what! More evidence that the consumption of beer improves the mind.

For a while trail stuck to the forest path (with limited flour as an army of day trippers had obscured a lot of marks) and passed a song check (Yogi of course in the woods) and a Hash Halt where we were rejoined by the hare. The turkeys basically continued on the forest trail until the beer was near while McCavity justified the hours Willy spent laying by trying to follow the eagle trail. This proved tough for a while, even with help from the hare (!!) as the wind had removed flour applied to trees. However the trail still managed to involve scrambling up rocks, zig zagging on narrow paths and checking out cave entrances. There was also some cool vistas, but little time was wasted given the more exalted promise of cool beer. The lone Eagle soon arrived at the beer check to find several turkeys on a rock with a great view and a couple of hashers looking for beer stashed in a cave (at a perfect temperature)...including our esteemed GM and co-scribe Dirtbag. Here is his story with a couple of additions:

Scribe 2: Dirtbag

The trail was a 1 ¼ mile vertical run on a rain rutted, rocky, sandy piece of granite called Chimney mountain. It was awesome!!! I had the pleasure of bringing up the rear, because I mistakenly thought 2 hours would be enough time to get to the start. WRONG. 2 ½ hours later I arrived late. The trail fortunately was well marked with a large true trail arrow in the parking lot at the bottom, pointing uphill obviously. I had the fortune of bringing up the rear, which meant I really didn’t know how far ahead the pack was. I accosted several hikers coming back down the hill as to the whereabouts of the pack. The first pack said they were approximately 15 minutes ahead, oh great. The second pack said they were only 5 minutes ahead, apparently they slowed down a lot. I started yelling Are You as I hit the most vertical part of the trail. On the third or so Are You I got a whistle reply. I looked up and saw Gay Underway. What a welcome sight, I didn’t expect to see anybody until the cave.

Catching up with Gay Underway, we had a short conversation and I continued up, up, up. At the left turn at the top I caught up with Donkey Style and Just Denny. I in my usual style took over lead and made my way to the welcome beer check. Not noticing the arrow pointing down, I continued on the powder up the mountain to the spectacular view of the Adirondacks, the first of many. Realizing that I had passed the beer (ED note: Jesus, doesn't he always blow by the beer?) I doubled back and followed the trail to the beer. It was in the first large hole I would have the pleasure of going into this fine day. Shining my light around for a little while and fumbling around in the dark, I heard a voice from above, go into the dark. Darth Vader, no it was our hare for today Willie Wanker. Asking which dark hole to go into the left or the right, he said the left. Going all the way to the end of the left hole and finding no beer. I told him it wasn’t there. He then proceeded into the right hole and produced the beer check beer and water. We carried the beer to the top and had our refreshment at the top of the mountain enjoying our beautiful view. Did I mention the temperature was 72 and not a cloud in the sky. Visibility, FOREVER.

The beer check finished we continued on trail to the second turkey-eagle split. The eagle split went down into a gorge and back up to the top where the turkey’s including myself were waiting for the eagle’s (actually lone eagle – McC) wondering where the trail went. Willie Wanker told us that this was the finish, 100 yards away from the Chimney. At this point I asked where the big dark hole was and if we were going into the big dark hole. He said sure!!! Proceeding down the very steep hill, did I mention we were on a mountain, we came to the opening of the cave. There were a bunch of kids hanging around, looking for the cave. They said there was nothing in the opening that we were about to enter. Willie Wanker informed them in his best professor voice that this was the entrance to the largest tectonic cave system in the Adirondack’s. We then proceeded to prove it to them by disappearing into the mouth of the cave one at a time.

The entrance didn’t look like much. Two very large flat pieces of granite face about 18” apart at a 60 degree angle. Once we crawled, slid across the face of the stone it opened up into the first of many large rooms. Everybody entered the first part of the cave including the kids that said there was nothing there and we proceeded over crack and crevice to the far end of this room where we came to the first technical part of the big hole experience. The ROPE CLIMB. This is where the group split up and the pack split in half, me being one of the fortunate or crazed ones that actually had the gumption to keep going, after all isn’t that what this hash was all about. Needless to say there was plenty of back bending, crawling, climbing, and oh my god I am so f@*&ing lost events that I can’t possibly list them all (we should mention a cave full of bats and a route out that involved wriggling up a natural stone chimney – McC). THE CAVE WAS AWESOME!!! This should be a must for a weekend event.

After exiting the cave after around 2 hours, we proceeded to the peak of Chimney mountain, and did some futzing around there. McCavity peaked the mountain, I’m sure it was his first of the 46, but probably not the last (actually I have a truly lame one of the 46, but I'm afraid that Chimney Mountain is not number two. Even though a mountain that needs a little rock climbing at the top is pretty cool - McC). We finally proceed down the mountain and caught up with the rest of the pack and headed to the on in. McCavity led with me close behind, until I took a tumble after wrenching my knee. Good soldier that I am I walked/ran it off.

Circle convened, Shitty trail going to Willie Wanker. FRB going to McCavity. DAL going to Gay Underway. I joined them for DAL to the start, thinking 2 hours would be enough time to get to the start. Virgin Just Denny was demented by Donkey Style and myself. The square root of 69 is now 28. Donkey Style has the most expensive all you can eat clam dinner and he is a goat f@*&er. He would definitely get off on a bus full of gay men. (Dirtbag again drank for blood on trail/ hash crash, joined by McCavity and Donkey Style who crashed in circle trying to tackle Dirtbag - McC). Nice Snatch earned the hashit in absentia because of his previous crimes, or was it his antics on a motorcycle (all of the above and because getting it once for his littany of crimes was just not enough - McC). Anyways the circle closed with days of the week, and as I was leaving they serenaded me with swing low. After all I didn’t want to hit any deer like the ones that came down to munch on the apples in the field next to the on in.

Until next time I am forced to write,
ON ON,
Dirtbag
GM / Scribe for the event.

Meanwhile the rest of the pack partied late and continued to enjoy a great cabin and beautiful surroundings. Mark your calendars for Columbus Day 2006 when we plan to do a true hash weekend! - McC

On-On!

If you have anything to add, send a note to thfkad@hmhhh.com.